How Do I "Protect" My Energy: Empathy vs. Sympathy
In this post, I will not tell you to surround yourself in light. That does not prevent us from taking on other energies. I will not teach you how to SHIELD your energy from others. I actually will not even teach you how to PROTECT your energy from the energies of others. This is our victim mentality speaking. This disconnects us from our power causing our energies to open up or tear and absorb energy from our surroundings. How often have you surrounded yourself in light and put up shields and it did not work? How about how exhausted you feel from the amount of energy you expend "protecting" yourself? What if there was another piece to the puzzle that we have been missing? There is a more efficient way to use our energy. In this, an incredible amount of healing can occur. I invite you to continue reading and see what is available to you. There are a few different stories to tell here to paint the picture of how NOT to take on the energy and emotions of others.
Are you a person who absorbs energy from others? -- Do you struggle with carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? -- Do you believe that you are supposed to "take" other's pain so they no longer hurt?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, this article is for you. Much of humanity struggles with absorbing and taking on energy from others. Not all of the pains and suffering we carry are our own. Imagine navigating your life without all the extra weight of other's energy and emotions.
What could your life be?
Let's think about it for a moment.
First, imagine all the people of the world.
Next, imagine all of them with a field of energy around them that extends outwardly.
Now, imagine what happens when these bubbles of energy bump up against and intersect one another, like a game of human bumper cars. It can get messy.
Then, imagine that many others in this process are also carrying fears, judgements, wounds and traumas. When we share space with other people, we run the chance of absorbing parts of their energy into our own consciousness.
Let me explain how this happens.
To understand this work, we first must first be reminded of the difference between empathy and sympathy. The dictionary defines EMPATHY as the understanding and awareness of one's feelings and emotions. It defines SYMPATHY as feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.
Now, let us look at EMPATHY vs. SYMPATHY from an energetic persepctive.
Empathy allows us to feel and understand what another person is feeling. It aides us in having compassion for other's. COMPASSION and UNDERSTANDING work together. Empathy keeps the energies of others independent of our own, preventing us from falling into co-dependency. Empathy is an expression of UNCONDITIONAL Love. Empathy has the ability to put us in our hearts. In this space, Love radiates out, filling our energy field. At this point, any energy that enters your field has the potential to transform back to Love.
Through empathy, you keep your energy and allow others to keep their energy.
The key is to condition the mind to lead with empathy rather than sympathy.
Sympathy is the place that gets us into trouble. When we sympathize, we often feel bad or sorry for someone's struggle. It is just as it is defined in the dictionary. Now, let us understand sympathy more fully.
Sympathizing could more accurately be called wound bonding.
Here are examples of what you might say when sympathizing or wound bonding:
"I hate that happened to you." "I wish I could do more for you." "I wish I could take your pain."
These type of statements stem from our unworthiness. The separation in our ego uses them as a way to invalidate ourselves, giving CONDITIONAL Love. Many of us struggle with the suffering of others because we believe it is our responsibility to do something about it, to be the hero. These words are the voice of our guilt. It can be hard not to feel guilty of a beautiful life when others are suffering. Choosing to suffer alongside others will literally pull you out of that beautiful life and into your own suffering. We go deeper into our wounds from there. Now, our wound is open and activated along with theirs. Our energies are in each other's fields and now we are leaking onto each other and absorbing from one another. That leaves us with extra weight added to our own heaviness. This makes it more difficult to breathe and keep our heads above water.
Please, do not shame sympathizing.
The reality is that we will fall into this space, some of us quite often. That is okay. The work here is to have awareness of the moment you begin to open your energy field to another person. Remember, sympathizing opens your energy field, giving your life force away. When you become aware of this, take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Take a few steps back into your empathy. Sometimes, all a person needs from us is to be listened to with empathy, without trying to fix anything. If someone asks for your guidance and support, give it, if you are up for it.
When a person asks for our help, they are telling the energy, "I am allowing Love in."
In this, they remain accountable. Accountability helps us keep our energy to ourselves. Of course, there will be moments when we desire to share our energy with others. This is called CONNECTION. Remember, we can connect to others with Love and accountability, keeping our energy grounded. When we connect through our victim and wound bonding, our energy field opens up a tear and our life force leaks. ( I'll write another blog post at some point explaining how that happens in more detail)
So, I remind you, sympathizing is an expression of our fear and unworthiness. Empathizing is an expression of Love and worthiness. Do not be seduced by the illusions of the mind. See with truth.
What will you choose today and everyday after this?
Be mindful and notice when your mind falls into sympathizing. When it happens, (because lets be real, it will happen again) bring yourself back into empathy. Take a few breaths and few steps back. Most sympathizing begins with empathy but then we fall out of it when we are triggered by another person's wounds. When we allow ourselves to heal, we transform our triggers. Imagine what your life could be like if you decided to stop taking everything personally.
What if we stopped limiting ourselves with these beliefs that there are certain people we can't be around because they are too negative or toxic? Can you imagine the depth of connection that could be possible with people when we allow ourselves to operate from BEING Love. The only thing we have control over is the way we choose to relate to the energy. This is what determines how said energy will impact us.
Now, lets simplify this story. Protecting yourself from someone's energy is not necessary. You are responsible for your own energy. It is not the fault of the people or the atmosphere around you that you are suffering. Be accountable. Be Love.
In a world of suffering, my wish for all of us is that we come to realize our minds create our suffering as far worse than what it really is.
May we all remember to be compassionate, understanding and forgiving with ourselves.
May we share this same Love with others.