What Does It Mean To Be A Healer?

I define HEALER as someone who has the desire to be of service. 

There are many different ways we can express being of service in the world. I believe the most important thing for any healer to remember is that it is not our responsibility to heal people. We do not have the power to heal others. What we do have the power to do is, inspire healing within another person. We can be a reflection of what is possible to those we serve. We can help others remember there is more to life than suffering. But, we can't do it for them. We can show them a path to healing but it is ultimately their decision what to do.

I frequently share with my clients that I am not a healer because I have healed my life. ( That is still in process. ) I am a healer because I know what it is like to suffer. I have learned it is possible to walk through my suffering to some sense of peace and understanding. Healing is not about changing who we are. In life, many of us get caught up in "fixing" ourselves and the world. There is nothing to fix. We are far more okay than what our suffering minds let us realize.

Please STOP trying to FIX everything. It is hurting you.

The path to healing is through learning to Love ourselves as we are.

I see many people on a healing path, working so hard to change the way their world looks in hopes that they feel better about life. How often has that actually worked? In the times it did work, how often was it permanent? Most likely, it was not. 

As healers, we are not immune from this work and we are not being asked to be perfect in any way. Please let go of that expectation, if you have it. We must learn to find more contentment in the world. As healers, we are simply asked to share Love and be real, however that may look from moment to moment.

I have spent much of my life wanting to help others transform their lives. I first had to learn to let go of all the pressure I was putting on myself to change the whole world, single-handedly. Many of us healers struggle with the hero archetype. I believed I was here for the whole world. That is a heavy burden to shoulder. I always looked at the world and its people as imperfect and broken, needing saved. I forgot how beautiful and Love filled the world is. After I got real with myself one day, I realized my true motive was to change the world so that I felt better. Like many of us, I was afraid of the suffering of the world.

On my healing journey, I have learned, trying to change others is a fruitless and unnecessary cause. The only thing I have the power to transform is me and the way I relate to the world. I realized what really had to change was my perspective. I had to decide to see people differently. I chose to begin seeing people as beautiful WITH their suffering. What if we can exist in a world of pain and be the space of Love for ourselves and others? Some days, I forget all about this and revert back to my old ways of judgement and shame. Once I become aware of this, I make the choice to bring myself back to Love.

It is important to know that seeing the world through the eyes of Love does not mean the pain magically goes away, blinking from existence. It means that instead of feeding our pain with more pain, we feed it with Love.

Mixing fire with fire only makes the fire bigger. But, what happens when we toss water on the fire? It extinguishes. Water is life and life is Love.

Walking a path of Love is not always easy. Some days it is frustrating. Nonetheless, when I bring myself back to Love, things get better. At times, my inner critic and cynic team up to convince me why continuing to focus on the problem is the safer thing to do. Focusing on the solution often requires us to try something new, to remove the giant boulders we have placed in our stream of Love, opening the flow. I invite you to try something new.

As healers, it is important for us to reflect this through our WORDS and ACTIONS. It is okay to be vulnerable with those you serve. Share your story when you feel called. Share it from a place of compassion and understanding for yourself rather than victimizing yourself over the pain in your life. This will make the difference between you helping someone and wound bonding with them. To be clear, wound bonding is feeding fire with fire. This does not support our well-being.

Let me be clear, it is NOT your responsibility to transform the entire world. If you think it is, you are lying to yourself. There are infinite ways to be of service. As healers, we must find our own unique expression without comparing it to another. Think of your healing expression as a language that you speak. There are billions of people on the planet. I think it is reasonable to say that we need billions of different healers in the world, speaking our different languages in service to humanity. 

What is YOUR authentic expression as a healer?

Trust who you are as a healer. You do not need to be like anyone else. Be of service in the way YOU desire without all of your rules. If it is coming from your heart, it is true. You might be wondering, "How do I even determine what my healing expression is?" Ask yourself, "How do I DESIRE to be of service in the world?" Now, go and do that.

Ten years ago, I was quitting community college, trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life. I was talking to my aunt one day about what to do with my life. She said to me, "If you lived in a world without money, bills and other financial responsibilities and could work for free, what would you do?"

I responded with, "I would help people heal and teach them about spiritual things." And she told me to go do that. I had already been on my spiritual journey for five years, since i was fifteen and nothing else really made sense to me. At the time, I had no idea how that would happen and how it would come together. But, I made the choice to choose my dream. I have been willing to BE and DO whatever I need within myself to be a clearer space for others. The clearer we are within ourselves, the more space we can hold for those we serve. Remember this.

All the Love and blessings on your journey.