What Does it Mean to Be Love
Picture it. It’s 2005, I am seventeen, a senior in high school, and I have just heard the phrase, Be Love in my mind for the first time. From that moment, I became obsessed with understanding what it meant. At the time, I had no idea how much that singular phrase would change my life. It consumed my mind repetitively throughout the day, everyday. I had only ever heard people talking about getting, having, needing, giving and/or receiving Love, but never BEING Love.
The idea of being Love felt so conceptual, ambiguous and intangible. What I did know was that I NEEDED to understand it. I found myself in school writing, Be Love, in the margins of my notes. Anywhere that I could write something, I wrote, Be Love, so that others could see the message.
It was like a compass that continued pointing me north.
I was clear there was something there for me in those words, but was not sure what it was. I chose to trust the resonance and was on the pursuit to find what “Be Love” meant. There were several contributing moments between 2005 and 2015 where I received clues before I truly understood what it meant in an embodied way in 2015.
I even chose the name Be Love Healings for my healing practice in 2010. I honestly did not fully understand what that even meant, but I knew it was right for me, so I chose to trust the process.
In 2013, I learned that I had been struggling with binge eating my entire life. Prior to that, I did not know there was a name for it. I thought it was just the “normal” way to eat, even though people would constantly make comments about how I could eat so much and stay skinny. With that realization, I started trying to heal the binge eating.
It was hard to overcome because I judged and shamed myself so harshly for binge eating. How could I have been on my healing journey for ten years and just be learning that binge eating was a struggle of mine? And, why was it so hard to overcome? But, I stayed the course and kept trying.
In 2015, I moved to Asheville, NC on a message from Spirit that it was something I needed to do for my own personal healing. I decided to trust the process and went.
At that point in my journey with healing the binge eating, I was able to recognize when I was binging. But, I could never stop myself. It was like my brain knew what was happening, but could never stop the compulsion my body was acting on. My typical response was to then judge and shame myself for not being able to stop binging in the moment.
It wasn’t until one day when I was having lunch in my apartment in Asheville and stuck in a binge, that I fully understood what Be Love meant.
As I was judging and shaming myself for the binge, I heard Spirit chime in and say, “It is okay. Just let yourself binge.” This pissed me off and I started cussing Spirit out because how dare you tell me this thing I perceive as so wrong is okay?! Then, Spirit said, “It is okay. Let yourself binge and practicing Loving yourself as you binge.”
In that moment, all these bells were going off, Ding, Ding, Ding. I got full body chills. It was like all of these moments over the past ten years converged and I finally understood what Be Love meant, in practice. I understood it beyond feeling. I understood it in a tangible way. I understood that Be Love meant Loving myself as I am, unconditionally.
Being Love meant being willing to Love myself as I am, even when I am doing things that I think are shameful. It meant choosing to Love myself amidst shame, guilt and judgment.
At that point, I understood the practice moving forward with binge eating was to stop focusing on trying to stop it. Instead, it was to notice when I was in the judging and shaming and then redirect my thoughts to compassion, empathy and understanding which allowed me to access Loving myself as I was in that moment.
The more I told myself it was bad and wrong, the more my brain and nervous system perceived the moment as a threat and that I was not safe. The compulsion that drives the binge was seeking comfort and safety which made me want to keep binging. I had to tell myself that it was okay that I was binging so that my brain and nervous system could be at ease enough to feel safe.
It was okay that I was not perfect and that I was struggling. I needed to stop resisting the binge and instead allow it to be there while giving myself Love and nurturing as it was happening. From that day of realization in my apartment in Asheville, this became my practice.
I had a moment six months later where I realized I was eating and not binging. The compulsion and anxious energy was nonexistent. I could not think of the last day I had binged. That practice of Being Love with myself, moment after moment, is what gave me the healing I was seeking.
This is what the idea that, “Love Heals,” means. It is the repetitive act of giving ourselves and others compassion, empathy, understanding and unconditional Love.
BEING LOVE HEALS
Begin Your Healing—Wherever You Are
Be Love Healings offers spiritual and metaphysical healing services with Dr. Matt Turner, available in person in Overland Park, KS or virtually by Zoom or phone.
Whether you are looking for local support in the Kansas City area or want to connect virtually from anywhere in the world, you can explore the available services and choose the path that feels right for you.
